A confession

I can't write.

Not in the proper sense of the term, anyway. There are some tremendous writers out there. People who know and use the English language and the rules of grammar as skillfully as any surgeon or master brickmason.

Quite deliberately, I'm not linking these names, as that'd just be Link Whoring. But go read any of the bloggers on my sidebar. In every case, you'll read a far more highly skilled writer than me.

Reading outstanding writers on the blogs is a constant reminder to me, of just how inadequate are my skills and knowledge. Let me explain. Sorta.

I don't know the first thing about the English Language. If you held a gun to my head and demanded that I diagram a sentence, I'd have to ask you to pull the trigger as the more merciful option. I don't know a subject from a noun from a verb. A dangling paticicple, to me, is something I'd likely hand you a kleenex for.

All through school, I just never "got it". My mind works in odd ways. To me, the "subject" of a sentence is "what the hell is it talking ABOUT?". Of course, that's hardly ever the case to a grammartarian. They'd point to the subject as being some asinine word, way over there in the sentence, which of course was not the topic of the thought that the sentence carried. Why wouldn't it be the subject?

Some decades after the end of my formal education, I realized one thing that would have helped me back then. I didn't get the "rules of grammar", because the very terms, "noun, verb, adjective, pronoun, etc.", meant little to me. I'd sure like to know why they decided to call that term a "pronoun", or whatever. I'd like to know the thinking behind the terms. I bet I'd understand them more. Sadly, I can look up the terms in Websters, but I can't look up the thinking that determined what they'd be called.

Maybe its analogous with needing to take the watch apart to see how it works.

I've learned very little since then, but no more than your average 6th grader knows about the construct of the language.

Conversely, I've always been a voracious reader. I drew my parents into a running fight with the 3rd grade bookmobile. I wanted to check out Guadalcanal Diary, a WWII book. The librarian didn't want me to because it was "too advanced". I won't go into how entirely contradictory that call was from a so-called educator. I'm sure you see the irony. Leon Uris was an old friend by the sixth grade.

I read at near Guiness World Record speeds, as measured by numerous tests. With comprehension well above the 95% level. In the 11th grade, I tested out at 1190 words per minute, at 97.5% retention. I've slowed down some, and my eyes sometimes relax more with glasses, although they're mostly because my distance vision has degraded. I only got the lenses last year, and I'm still not totally used to 'em. So far, my arms aren't too short to read normally, and I'm lensless as I write this tonight.

Conceptually, my mind works a lot like Whittle writes. I don't say that in a self-aggrandizing fashion, it's just so. What's amazing to me is how he can get it all processed, and through his fingertips into coherent words on the screen. Simply astonishing. Blogging is helping me to find that skill, and I'm thrilled by the glimmer of light it brings.

Sadly for me, circumstances of life followed by decisions I've made have kept me from obtaining a Higher Education. I know; "it's never too late", but damned if life hasn't been a struggle of wits just to keep body and soul intact. I never bothered with the SAT in high school, as I was already too busy working for a living. Such is a tale for another time.

In spite of this lack of skill in the arts of the language, I've attained success and recognition in business. Twice, I've had different Mayors of San Antonio, Texas as keynote speakers at functions of my making. Fact is, I've even been published in business trade-journals. The editors didn't change a word or comma of my submissions, either. I don't know if I was good or lucky, but I'm not complaining!

Even so, every time I read the DuToits, Bill Whittle, Stephen Green and Rob Smith at his erudite best, I'm reminded of how very little I know of this tremendous language of ours. And I'm inspired to know more, to do better and to one day, write maybe as half as well as them.

It's good to have goals.

Comments

[Terry]

Jim,
You write just fine. Do you ever read Possumblog? He posted a related piece on writing in his blog that you might enjoy.
http://www.possumblog.blogspot.com/

[Denita TwoDragons]

Hey, I love your writing just fine so far, hon!

I put it like this--does the baker whose bread is mouthwateringly sumptuous to taste know all that much about chemistry, or thermodynamics? Because he uses a tremendous amount of each when he turns that heap of ground grain, water, yeast and the like into something delicious. But I can almost guarantee that the baker doesn't think about these things in the least, he just has a "knack" for when the dough is at its best, and how his particular oven works, etc. Does the All-Star MVP pitcher know much about physics and wind velocity? Most likely not; he just knows how to "throw the ball right". Does the black-belt martial artist give any real consideration to the property of alpha waves in his brain, or the incredible biology of his tissues at they are transformed from meat to weapon? No, he just strikes like the air, and does what he needs to do.

It's the same way with most of the best writers. They just know where to drop the right word, how to make a sentence sit right among its brothers. I'm the same way--I found sentence diagramming hell in school. Why the hell did I need to go to all that trouble, when I knew how to get my word across instinctively? Why did I need to spend all this time conjugating verbs when I could just put them in the right order without thinking about it...?

Trying to concentrate on all the dynamics of writing is like throwing logs in a swift-moving stream--it just slows the stream down and causes a logjam of overcomplicated thoughts.

--TwoDragons

[Dewey]

Jim,

Having read several entries, I have to disagree with you. You write just fine. This is my first visit, and you can rest assured, I'll be back.

Best wishes.
Dewey

[Ms Anna]

I think voracious readers just soak up writing skills while they read. You are doing fine. Just write as you want to. Don't worry about it. Most of us, as readers, would probably place ourselves in the same boat, if we were blogging.

[Daniel Day]

I don't know why you say you can't write. Some idiot teacher, impatient with your problems remembering the names of parts of speech, must have filled your head up with that nonsense. You can communicate perfectly well in writing. I agree with Ms. Anna about soaking up writing skills while you read. It worked for me. I was very bored in English classes (the grammar parts, anyway), but teachers often complimented my writing ability.
If you ever study another language, the concept of "parts of speech" is very useful; otherwise... why bother with it?

[Key]

Yeah, whatever Jim.

I appreciate your humility. Now keep it to yourself! I get like that. Then Rob says what I now say to you, "Shut up and write!"