Vein popping, neck bulging rage! Bring on the tar and feathers, ready the stocks and rotten fruits.
Lock this asshole into the stocks in the town square, as it were, slathering him with scaling tar from head to toe. With a bushel of feathers dumped on his smoldering, corpulent whaleness, let the heaving of fruit begin, accompanied by cries of derision, taunts and curses from one and all, from young and old, alike.
I hate seldom, but I hate Andy Rooeney with a white-hot passion and fire... a fire which leaves ice in my veins, and not a humane thought towards this festering pusshole of liberalism on the left.
To me, he is absolutely no better than Osama himself.
This, today, from the traitorous Rooney in the Buffalo News. The Opinion Page, to be precise.
Our soldiers in Iraq aren't heroes
By ANDY ROONEY
Well, there's your first traitorous, slanderous spew of slime from that Jabba the Huttite piece of journalistic diharrea. Way to go, Andy sure knows how to declare his emnity of all that's good and decent right in his first sentence.
The asshole could have just published that headline under his name and saved himself the digging of his own professional grave. But wait, there's more!
Grab your barf bags, get any small children and those offended by foul language out of the room.
This isn't gonna be pretty. Not by a long shot.
[UPDATE! Turns out, Sir George Turner blogged it hours earlier, followed by Misha's powerful take on the subject. And we three are amazingly similar, but I assure you, I'd not seen either of 'em before posting mine. Amazing coincidence, or proof that the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy really exists? Only tinfoil hat-weariing leftist liberal lunatics know for sure?]
.........okay, y'all keep reading now!
Most of the reporting from Iraq is about death and destruction. We don't learn much about what our soldiers in Iraq are thinking or doing. There's no Ernie Pyle to tell us, and, if there were, the military would make it difficult or impossible for him to let us know.
Andy may have known Ernie Pyle...he's surely old enough. In fact, that callous fuck seems to be possibly sliding into dementia at a rapid pace. But I've got a few things to say to that Jabba the Hutt reverse side of the Ted Kennedy coin of liberal lies and deciet.
Ernie Pyle didn't undermine the troops. He left many a hard, true and ugly fact untold, in order to tell the larger truths of the courage of our men, lo these sixty something years ago. He did the best he could to convey the ugliness of war, while shining light on the brilliance and nobility of what's now called "The Greatest Generation". He kept in mind that although America may have it's flaws, we're still the greatest, noblest and most deservedly successful experiement in self-governance in history.
Ernie Pyle was proud to be an Amercian, and America was proud of him. Unlike Rooney, that fat, traitorous, vile, mealy-mouthed wad of whorecum.
And let me say this, too. The military would not officially make it difficult to find a troop of similar, anti-American mindset as Rooney's. But I'd bet he'd have to wade through hundreds...nay, thousands of patriotic soldiers before he found his first soul-mate in the ranks.
Who would most likely be some REMF slacker. Which is where that useless gasbag of poisoned air would feel most at home.
It would be interesting to have a reporter ask a group of our soldiers in Iraq to answer five questions and see the results:
It would be more interesting to find a reporter among the ranks of CBS propagansists, fifth columnists and other assorted Trotskyites. But I won't hold my breath waiting to find one.
But first Andy, you fuckless feckless fuckwit, find a group of Marines or Rangers to which to put your questions.
1. Do you think your country did the right thing sending you into Iraq?
And they pay this asshole millions to write this drivel? OF COURSE that pus-brained sack of shit seems to forget, they've seen the evil of Saddam's mass graves, amputees, rape rooms and prisons. Rooney, you festering syphalitic chancre sore on the flesh of humanity, OF COURSE they've seen Saddam's palaces, built from the pillage of his people and their oil riches.
I'd love to see Rooney ask this of the front line troops. If he dares. The only problem I see is, their professionalism (something long since lost to him), would keep them from simply running a bayonet into his black, sepluchar hole of a throat.
Which is something I'd gladly pay to see.
2. Are you doing what America set out to do to make Iraq a democracy, or have we failed so badly that we should pack up and get out before more of you are killed?
How can a lifelong journalist even write such a moronic snotball of a sentence? Pay attention, Andy....they are doing what America set out to do. To free the Iraqi people from a tyrannical dictator. To instill a democratic, representative government for, and ultimately by, the Iraqi citizens, and to change the face of the middle east in the months, years and decades to come.
MacArthur governed Japan for four years. West Germany was under Allied government for several years more before being allowed to vote for their first Chancellor after V-E day.
During de-nazification, there were assaults, snipers aplenty, and resistance that lasted at least as long as what we're seeing in Iraq.
And we're not failing in Iraq. Do not mistake the last, fatal, final death-throes of the baathists as the wishes of the Iraqi people. That won't happen if we remain strong, firm and steadfast.
With any show of lack of will, Iraq will just be one huge Mogadishu. The Iraqis respect only, and fear only one thing. Strength.
We have the strength. For now, we have the will. And we will do so, as long as assfucks like Rooney don't succeed in poisoning even more minds with their traitorous, cowardly, defeatist words.
3. Do the orders you get handed down from one headquarters to another, all far removed from the fighting, seem sensible, or do you think our highest command is out of touch with the reality of your situation?
He's describing the glories of the Carter years, that shit for brains sorry ass excuse for a journalist. Interchangeable of course, with the Clinton years, one might note.
An objective research effort from soldiers in the field will show that the troops out on the edge have the advantage of one of the most de-centralized C-3 structures in the history of modern combat. Of course, like any military animal, the further back down the logistics tail one goes, the more petty bureaucratic B.S one is likely to encounter.
Which, is precisely the cadre that I predent Andy Fucking Dipshit Rooney would seek out for his erstwhile "interview"
Andy? Why dont'cha strap a 747 to your Super-Sized ass and waddle out to the front lines to ask 'em, hey? I bet they'd love to see you. You'd make a wonderful point of concealment....hell, with your mass, you might even provide actual cover against those 7.62x39 Kalishnikov rounds. But, I digress.
Here's the real straw-man in the question. All troops bitch about damn near most any and everything under the sun! They always have, and they always will.
And of course, Andy, being the manipulative, conniving and traitorous shithole that he is (in my opinion, of course.), would surely twist, spin, encourage and maximize this ageless truth in the larger interview.
Which he would then cherry-pick in the editing process, selecting only the darkest of quotes, and presenting them in the most damaging sequence, and not in the chronological order of the interview.
We're wise to you Andy. We're wise to the likes of you, one and all. And we're not going to let you get away with it, not unscathed, not unanswered. We're going to make sure the world sees the blood on your hands, and we're going to hold you to account to it. For each and every drop.
Word by word, your treachery will be held up on the net for all to see.
Starting here, asshole......starting here.
4. If you could have a medal or a trip home, which would you take?
You cynical fuck. Damn you all to HELL you sick son of a bitch! How dare you throw the courage, selflessness and sacrafice of these soldiers back in their face with such a condecending question?
Go there and ask them in person. No sane troop seeks glory or medals, and all of them want to return home. But, I'd wager my car, my boat, my very home that only the tiniest percentage would choose to return home, leaving their brothers in arms behind to do their job.
Fuck You, Rooney. I'd love to see you ask them that question out there on the point, in person.
Somehow, I think you'd have an altered stride to your waddle, with all those medals and return tickets shoved up your ass so deep, you'd be pukin' 'em out like a slot machine mated to a paper shredder.
5. Are you encouraged by all the talk back home about how brave you are and how everyone supports you?
Damnbetcha they are, you fucking Jane Fonda felching fatstain. And that's "everyone but Andy Rooney, CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN and PBS supporting you." Oh, and DU and MoveOn dot scum....let's not forget your choirboys on the net.
Treating soldiers fighting their war as brave heroes is an old civilian trick designed to keep the soldiers at it. But you can be sure our soldiers in Iraq are not all brave heroes gladly risking their lives for us sitting comfortably back here at home.
No you DAMNED SEDITIOUS LYING SACK OF SHIT..... that's a old trick that tyrants like Hussein, Hitler and Stalin played to keep their soldiers at it. They could not afford to let their troops anywhere near the truth.
Conversely, our military is the most highly educated, well read, and fully informed soldiery in the history of the world. Their motivation comes from eternal truths, starting with this self-evident fact, that our unalienable rights are endowed by God, and not by government.
And damned sure not by yellow journalists.
Read the writings of American Soldiers from the Civil War onward, and one finds that they're the leaders of the drive for recognition of the brave acts of the men under their commands. Historically, they're the ones who herald the courage of their brothers in arms, rallying the civilian world to rise up in support of their troops.
Not even the vaunted Ernie Pyle ever wrote as stirringly as the many hundreds of published soldiers, just from WWII onward.
And no, I don't expect our troop to be giddy with joy while serving in combat. But unlike that pontificating walrus of a psuedo-journalistic blowhole, I know that as well as being scared shitless, they're proud, they're resolved to bring an end to the fight, and that, on their terms! (Rooney, that's called winning, you fucking loser!.) Moreover, they're dedicated to eradicating the spread of radical Islam, right there, right now and with extreme prejudice.
Our soldiers in Iraq are people, young men and women, and they behave like people - sometimes good and sometimes bad, sometimes brave, sometimes fearful. It's disingenuous of the rest of us to encourage them to fight this war by idolizing them.
Geez, there goes Andy Wylie E. Coyote, fucking genius. Why, the way he describes it, you'd think those soldiers are almost human.
But, what's fucking disingenuous, is his wish for the rest of us to, like him, disdain these incredibly good, bad, brave and fearful soldiers as children to be coddled, rather than warriors to be honored.
Not that Andy remembers a gnat's shit about honor. What honor he brought with him out of WWII has been squandered in subservience to his decades of mind-numbing socialist thinking. The cancer of eliteism has so consumed his mind and soul, nary a dot of light shines now in that darkened cavern of a skull.
We pin medals on their chests to keep them going. We speak of them as if they volunteered to risk their lives to save ours, but there isn't much voluntary about what most of them have done.
Oh? And how many were draftees? Hmm? Yeah, right. None. Zero.
They all volunteered. Each. And. Every. One. Of. Them.
A relatively small number are professional soldiers.
And the rest are crafters enjoying their latest hobby? Just HOW STUPID will CBS let Rooney get before they retire him to the funny farm? Oh, wait....here it comes.... Rooney's claims of our poor, misguided, weekend campers, press-ganged into soldierly servitude....and right on time...herrrrrees Andy!
During the last few years, when millions of jobs disappeared, many young people, desperate for some income, enlisted in the Army. About 40 percent of our soldiers in Iraq enlisted in the National Guard or the Army Reserve to pick up some extra money and never thought they'd be called on to fight. They want to come home.
What an unholy pile of unsubstantiated absolute shit that is! Try this on for size, Andy, you overfed bag of useless flesh...
... During the last few years, after more than three thousand innocent people were mercilessly slaughtered by hate-crazed Islamic jihadists, many people, the young and the not so young alike, enlisted and/or re-enlisted in the National Guard or the Army Reserve, as they were stirred to the calling to serve the Nation they love. The fact that a grateful Nation pays it's soldiers was a plus, but damned few of them confused the meager pay of a Guard or Reserve weekend for a full-time living. They knew they could be called upon to serve, and they took the oath in full awareness of that fact. They want to come home, but they want to come home victorious, with tyranny broken in their grasp, and the seed of freedom left behind, fertilized for all eternity, by the blood of patriots.
That's probably too corny for poor ol' Andy. Too fucking bad, too. It's far closer to the truth than that pean to Goebbels he's got going in his article foul work of defeatist propaganda.
One indication that not all soldiers in Iraq are happy warriors is the report recently released by the Army showing that 23 of them committed suicide there last year. This is a dismaying figure. If 22 young men and one woman killed themselves because they couldn't take it, think how many more are desperately unhappy but unwilling to die.
And surely more will do the same, brought to hopeless despair just by reading Rooney, Moore, Fonda, etc., ad nausem extremus.
We must support our soldiers in Iraq because it's our fault they're risking their lives there. However, we should not bestow the mantle of heroism on all of them for simply being where we sent them. Most are victims, not heroes.
Fucking Rooney still doesn't get it. It's Hussein's fault. Gassing the Kurds in the eighties, invading Kuwait in the nineties, followed by twelve years of utterly defying no less than seventeen U.N. *spit* resolutions demanding his compliance to disarm, or to show proof of disarming himself of WMDs. That, and Hussein's ceasless attempts to shoot down Coalition aircraft enforcing the No Fly zones.
It is Hussein, who is at fault, causing us to commit troops to this worthy cause. I'd wish a pox upon Rooney for claiming otherwise, but frankly, I think being him must be it's own worse punishment.
And once again, I'd pay good money to see Rooney go tell some Reserve infantryman that he's a "victim". I'd laugh gleefully while Andy got his Asshole handed to him. On the point of a bayonet, I'd hope. Oh, and the troop who actually did that...would be, undeniably, a hero to us all!
Now, what follows is the only relatively accurate paragraph of Rooney's entire brain-fart. But beware, it's just a set up. Remember the condescension of the looney liberal left. You're about to see an object lesson of it in action:
America's intentions are honorable. I believe that, and we must find a way of making the rest of the world believe it. We want to do the right thing. We care about the rest of the world. President Bush's intentions were honorable when he took us into Iraq. They were not well thought out but honorable.
It's called damning with faint praise, my friends. And it goes like this. First, give credence to the honor of President Bush's intentions. Then, denigrate them in the same breath, claiming that they weren't well thought out.
This, from Rooney? He who hasn't had a thought beyond bitching about his toilet paper in what, twenty years? Riiiiiggggghhhtttttt.
Now then, remember the pseudo-praise of the preceeding paragraph? Here comes it's dark twin, the foil:
Bush's determination to make the evidence fit the action he took, which it does not, has made things look worse.
One declarative phrase, "...which it does not, ...." Oh, really? All the evidence says it does. Three hundred thousand nameless dead in hundreds of mass graves says it was!!!
We pay lip service to the virtues of openness and honesty, but for some reason, we too often act as though there was a better way of handling a bad situation than by being absolutely open and honest.
Andy may finally have been right, here at the very end.
For one, I hope he enjoys our open, honest, earnest and heartfelt delcaration that the Fuckwitted Camel Felchers of Falujah either submit, or die.
I hope that he understands the honest, earnest and heartfelt FUCK YOU to his party from the voters at the polls, this November.
I hope he understands the one-fingered salute due him from any soldier in the United States Armed Forces, and I hope that he sees plenty of those, from now until his dying day.
How much more open and honest does it get?
Gosh, Jim, I'm not sure that I understand how you feel. Could you clarify that for me? ;^)
Posted by: A Recovering Liberal | April 13, 2004 at 01:42 AM
Hey Jim,see if you can get Ronney to come with you the next time you come to the farm.I have 52 acres and a backhoe.
Posted by: Airboss | April 13, 2004 at 05:44 AM
Excellent fisking Jim. Rooney is definitely a loony.
Posted by: Val Prieto | April 13, 2004 at 07:33 AM
All I can add is the WWI reporter, Floyd Gibbons, who lost an eye at Belleau Wood while reporting with the Marines.
Great fisking.
Posted by: Tom | April 13, 2004 at 09:04 AM
Jim, you took that boiled cabbage and made puréed cole slaw of him. He's a tool and my son in the army is getting that fisking ASAP.
"Three hundred thousand nameless dead in hundreds of mass graves says it was!!!"
If we can justify (I know I can) the current battles in Iraq to this kind of internal slaughter the Clinton admin would have serious explaining to do with their lack of action in Africa where millions died.
Posted by: Mikenchi | April 13, 2004 at 10:06 AM
As for the similarity of the various fiskings, that article self-fisked itself. How many different ways are there to tell a senile, old idiot that he's a traitorous, senile, old idiot? Especially working from the same article.
Veeshir
Member VRWC
Posted by: Veeshir | April 13, 2004 at 10:45 AM
Time to take the old boy out behind the barn and put him down. Shoulda been done 25 years ago.
Hell, one "floor mishap" at the 60 Minutes offices would've done more good for this country than anything else I can imagine.
Posted by: El Jefe | April 13, 2004 at 11:12 AM
Jim, an OUTSTANDING fisking!
*salutes*
Posted by: Pedro | April 13, 2004 at 11:28 AM
That's some Good Hunting™ Brother!
Damned creative language too. I admire your ire!
Posted by: Jon, Imperial Hunter | April 13, 2004 at 12:30 PM
Sheesh, you know....you shouldn't hold your feelings in like that! Not good for the digestion *grin*.
Excellent post...and as far as this ol vet is concerned Rooney and all his brethren can rot in Hell (the sooner the better).
Posted by: Guy S. | April 13, 2004 at 01:54 PM
On the bright side, the bastard is so old he doesn't have many moons left.
I look forward to blogging about it. It will be the ONLY time I mention his name on my site.
Posted by: Geoffrey | April 13, 2004 at 03:17 PM
Howdy Jim,
I also blogged it on my site but I was much to soft.
F**k that POS.
Good Job!!!
Sam
Posted by: Sam | April 13, 2004 at 04:35 PM
Wow! That was good! You know, if you cut Andy up for shark bait he'd actually be useful.
Posted by: George Turner | April 13, 2004 at 04:41 PM
Somehow you managed to both raise my blood pressure to the boiling point AND make me laugh so hard I think I sprained something. This quote--
--needs to have some sort of Drink Alert put before it or you're going to find yourself responsible for a small nation's worth of malfunctioning keyboards!
DAYUM, man--I'm glad yer on OUR side!
--TwoDragons
Posted by: Denita TwoDragons | April 13, 2004 at 05:08 PM
I'm glad you got that out of your system. It wouldn't be good to keep all that bottled up!
Great fisking!
Posted by: Tina | April 13, 2004 at 08:32 PM
Great, Jim! Nathan, of Brain Fertilizer, did pretty good too. He answered Andy's five, ending with:
#5. We don't do it for the glory and thanks, no. We do it for the well-being of the nation, the safety of our loved ones, and the Brotherhood of War. But we do accept thanks from anyone who can do it without a sneer. We don't need any of your false gratitude.
Posted by: Indigo | April 13, 2004 at 09:28 PM
You were worried that you couldn't write? You sound just fine to me. Congratulations on an excellent asshole-ripping, Jim.
Posted by: Daniel Day | April 13, 2004 at 11:18 PM
This is why I start my day with java and your blog Jim.
People, don't get mad...GET EVEN.
How many of you know of a support the troops organization like Marine Moms or the VFW phone card program? Well , NOW WOULD BE A DAMN GOOD TIME TO HELP OUT!
I received an email from a woman who helps send care packages to the troops. I was getting info on the next packing party. She said that donations were wanning. That her group may have nothing to send the guys after the next packing party. NOTHIONG T SEND.
Barely a year and we are forgetting them already?
Is that how we treat our heroes?
Posted by: Valerie | April 14, 2004 at 06:59 AM
I bow in awe before the force of your swearage. Magnificent job Jim, simply magnificent!
Posted by: Ellen | April 14, 2004 at 07:32 AM
I just gave this the Liberal Litmus test:
I sent it to my aunt, who's emphatically anti-war and anti-Bush, a self-avowed Socialist. She called Rooney a C##k-sucker. Did I mention that my aunt doesn't cuss?
Posted by: Eric | April 14, 2004 at 12:10 PM
That's a mighty wide new anal orifice you tore into that old idiot. I can smell it from here. Impressive.
Posted by: Juliette | April 14, 2004 at 03:43 PM
Well done, Jim. I always liked the idea of putting trash like Rooney in the stocks, so the town drunks could have their way with them all night long. Tarring and feathering is good, though.
Posted by: Velociman | April 14, 2004 at 05:25 PM
I agree with Denita! That was great, "an altered stride to your waddle."
I was enjoying a pepsi when I read that and it ended up out my nose and mouth and onto the desk!
Great job!
Posted by: Alaska Kim | April 15, 2004 at 05:33 PM
Rooney is a brain-dead smoker. What did you expect!
Posted by: Bill THompson | May 02, 2004 at 07:33 PM
HOOAH
Diggin it and forwarding everyone I know, military & civilian.
Posted by: Army Wife | June 03, 2004 at 09:53 PM