Class Action Suit

It's truly a shame that John Edwards has retired from the practice of law. This case would be tailor-made for his skills and experience and qualifications.

Quite in contrast to his complete unsuitability to serve as the Vice President of the United States of America,... but I digress.

What's happening at the Democrat Lying Socialists National Convention has been driving many a card-carrying member of the Vast Right Wing Consipiracy (of which I'm a Charter Member) to fits of apoplexy, flinging invective or more corporeal objects at their respective teevees and radios, nationwide.

And in several more severe cases, good, honest and hardworking people are being diagnosed with a far more debilitating malady. The details are graphic and shocking, but the cure is within our grasp.

After all, the rational mind simply rebels at the sheer volume of lies, misdirections, exaggerations, slanders and overall tonnage of bullshit being flung forth from that platform in the Fleet (enema) Center in Boston, MA.

Our friend Gerard Van der Leun of the superb blog American Digest is one such case. Read now the plight of one so tragically afflicted......

Yes, I am the man who now finds himself swearing at his television. I'm not sure what the Democratic Convention is doing for the other thirty-two Americans who are watching it, but as far as I can tell the only thing it has done for me is to help me discover my Inner Tourette's.

Tourette's, that debilitating syndrome where the afflicted erupts in various twitches both physical and verbal. Tourette's, a syndrome where an ordinary sentence such as "Perhaps, after all, the Democrats are fit to rule." is unwilling stated as "Perhaps, after BOOGERBUGGER! FATASS! all the C**PF**K! ASSHATS! Democrats are WEINERBUGGERS! fit to RAMMERHARDER! DITZBREATH MONGOMUFFINSB***ME rule SWEET F**K ALL! ..... sorry, sorry, please excuse, .... excuse... pity... poor Gollum, yes precious?"

Now, there's sure to be tons of money in this for some enterprising trial attorney. Wouldn't it be grand, the donks being taken to the cleaners by a cannibal from their own clan? Even better, when one realizes the fact that trial lawyers comprise the largest single block of donors to the donk's coffers!

But ultimately, the only known cure for this horrible condition is the defeat of donks at polls, everywhere.

Sweet irony; the treatment is also the cure.

Gerard is expected to make a full recovery in the wee hours of November 3rd, 2004.

Comments

[Beth]

Thus explaining why my tv is turned to mind-numbing programming such at Emeril Live and CMT's Top Twenty. I'd last about 3.7 seconds ( and that's being generous) before I'd toss something into the tv, thus causing me heartache and wallet-ache (sue to having to buy a new tv).

[MaryClaire]

Dear Lord. I wish you'd put a spew warning on this post. Once again, I nearly put hot tea out my nose. Anyway, thanks for your kind email. If you want more on John Edwards and the convention, I've got some some fresh rants for your perusal.

[Acidman]

I thought it was only ME hurling profanity and TV bricks at the screen when I heard that barrage of bullshit. It's nice to know I'm not alone.