On Chivalry

Okay, I'm going to plagarize m'self a bit here.

Earlier today, I left a comment on this thread over at the portion of Kim DuToit's website known as the Nation of Riflemen Forum.  An NoR member, writing as The Wizard, posted this query:

back in my day i was raised that men should open car doors, hold doors on the way in and out of buildings, and pull out chairs. i have noticed that very few people my age do any of these things. why is this? do you do any or all of these things? i hold doors nearly all of the time, car doors most of the time, the rest when i remember to. should men do these things or not? and may i ask why you feel that way?

You can go there and read the eight reader's answers which follow his question, but preceed my response.

Here is what I wrote and posted:

I am chivalrous always, as it is a point of personal honor and self-respect.

Should the lass in question have a problem with that, well, it’s her problem, a point which I would and have made politely, but abundantly clear to her.

If she prefers the company of cretians, then she is welcome to them.

While I shall not denigrate a lady’s competence, capabilites or other strengths, I shall comport myself as a gentleman.

That doesn’t mean that I have to open every door, every time.  Sometimes, it just simply isn’t practical to do so, nor does every single instance demand it.  But it is something that should be done when it can be done naturally, gracefully and without undue drama to perform the act.

Chivalry goes much deeper than the mere courtesies of opening doors and shuffling chairs.

It is a reflection of an inner awareness of being the man; the sheepdog, if you will.  It conveys an acceptance of the responsibility of caring for your date or your mate, and is a minor enactment of that charge, to be reflected in small gestures on a daily basis.

Conversely of course, in this modern, liberated era, at least you can treat a shrill, liberal moonbat-headed shrew of a bitchy libtard in precisely the manner she invites.  And that, without undue fear of her hippie boyfriend demanding honor.  A thought foreign to him, I’m sure, as such are both usually found to be berift of such concepts as honor, decency and the like.

But in Days of Yore, Chivalry was a deadly serious matter.  Duels were fought over a lady’s honor.  (contrast that with Achmed the camelfucker who kills the lady if she’s besmirched by Abul the goatfelcher.) Mideval chivlarly went so far beyond the mere opening of doors as to have had it’s own Code of Chivalry, which was much discussed in it’s day, though apparently such was never affixed, formalized or canonized as a formal writ of church or state.

A good understanding of mideval chivalry sure would not hurt in our crass, selfish and rude modern times.

Guess I’m a throwback to an earlier day. 

Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Now, expanding on that a bit, let me say first that I'm as flawed as anyone when it comes to coming up short; to missing the mark.  There are days that I just don't like who I see when I'm shaving in the morning.  But, the purpose of goals is to make those days fewer and fewer, and by striving, to raise one's self (in this case, myself); to be found as a man worthy of the respect of his peers, welcomed by his friends and beloved by more than just his two cats.

From that embedded link on Chivalry, I give you the following list.  Although the gist of these charges to the cause of Chivalry are self-contained in the Ten Commandments and The Golden Rule, I do rather like how these few rules as written so succeinctly, lay out a tremendous code of conduct, appliciable with but small edits*, even today.

To fear God and maintain His Church
To serve the liege lord* in valour and faith      (*employer)
To protect the weak and defenceless
To give succour to widows and orphans
To refrain from the wanton giving of offence
To live by honour and for glory
To despise pecuniary reward
To fight for the welfare of all
To obey those placed in authority
To guard the honour of fellow knights
To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit
To keep faith
At all times to speak the truth
To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun
To respect the honour of women
Never to refuse a challenge from an equal
Never to turn the back upon a foe.

Frankly, Chivalry has far less to do with how one treats a lady, than to how one trains one's self.  The aspriation to such higher levels of conduct is perhaps one of the most noble pursuits. 

I'm not there, but at least I know the goals.

Comments

[PJ]

I see where you're coming from. Too many young ladies aren't ladylike at all. And that doesn't mean a woman has to be dolled up in makeup and frills. I would like to think myself a lady - and I can shoot better than my husband any 7 days of the week. ;-) Somewhere I have a scan of an old magazine that lists what being a lady is - maybe I could find it and post it. I'm glad to hear my husband isn't the last of gentlemen out there.

[Tammy]

It is nice for a man to open the car door for a women , or pull her chair out for her , or let her order first.

And there is some men out there that still do that , and there are some who just don't , now days people are in such a hurry they do not take the time to appriciate anything .

Myself speaking it makes no difference to me , been along time since I had a car door open for me , yata yata , Guess I would have to date to see what that was like : )

I have door's open for me when going into work , or when I stop off at a store for gas , I walk through and make sure I say Thankyou and smile , I have even opened Doors for people woman and men , called respect.

I myself study people and I think it is really nice to see couples staring across at each other like there in love while having Dinner , Seeing couples hand in hand walking around shopping, or just walking hand in hand down the street , but I see mostly older couples doing that now days but at least there taking the time out to apriciate each other .

(double post merged by site owner)

[Russ]

If you're not there, Jim, you're damned close.

[TheWizard]

my point in starting that thread was that many young people dont have any manners, i see people my age (almost 17) that dont say thank you, yes mam/sir, no mam/sir etc. and it kind of bothers me that there are people that would just let a door slam in your face rather than be nice and hold it for you, or even just half assed push it open far enough so you could get through.

and Jim your list looks about right.

[Cybrludite]

What amazes me is the number of people who won't give up their seat on a bus or what have you for the aged. Me, I get up like I sat on a taser if I see an elderly person without a seat. (Mainly because my Momma would kick my backside into next week if I didn't...)

[Juliette]

I live in a tough neighborhood here in LA, but guys open or hold doors for ladies around here often, even the young, baggy-pants sorts. Whenever a guy holds a door for me, I smile at him and say, 'thank you.' The surprised, please and hearty "you're welcomes" I get tell me that they don't get the 'thank you' that often. Women have some responsibility here also.

BTW, it will be time to hitch your "house" to a pick-up or something, and get out of Dodge soon, no? :-)