Bite Me

Which seems to be the mission statement of an entire airwing of voracious mosquitos.  "Bite Jim."

Which they do with gleeful abandon.  Somewhere in my DNA seems to reside a red and white checkerboard helix, entitled Purina Mosquito Chow.

London saw fewer attacks during the Blitz.

Still, modern science, chemistry and medicine offer various levels of relief.  So, even though I can't haul around a propane powered skeeter fogger, I can spray with Deep Woods Off, which helps.

But there are always the brave, few Kamikaze Skeeters who press their attacks through all defenses, attacking the vein with all the fury of a metrosexual IRS agent suffering from cold cream withdrawl.

And having been nailed by serveral such today, I found myself without my trusty Caladryl Clear (blessed be it's name), and had to resort to lesser offerings by well intended co workers.

Which is where the following comes in.  It seems there's a product intended for the relief of swelling and itching, which sounded tailor made to lessen the maddening after effects of a successful skeeter strafing.

My review?

Even after using most of the tube, my asshole feels fine, but the skeeter bites still itch like hell!

Scratch that idea some damned mosquito bites.

Comments

[PattiG]

One word.

Ice.

It's usually free too. (OK that was more than one word so sue me.)
Ice the bite. The freezing kills the 'skeeter spit and you never itch that spot again.
God's honest truth, it works great, although there ain't no money in it. Works great on yer itchy asshole as well, uh.....not that I have any knowledge of that whatsoever, mind you. *blushing snerk*

{long embarrassed pause before pushing the POST button}

[Libby]

LOL. I usually use alcohol when I'm in a pinch, for the bites, not the poop chute.

[Raggedy]

Great post! It is said here that the state tree is the telephone pole, the state bird is the mosquito and there are two seasons shovel and swat. The mosquitoes here are huge. They sell tee shirts and caps here with a huge picture of a mosquito on them. The caption: "Bite Me!" The Prep H was funny!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one
*

[Marc Spitzer]

I have used witch hazel to de-itch the bites

[Rivrdog]

You sir, win the "fine turn of phrase of the week" award with:

"attacking the vein with all the fury of a metrosexual IRS agent suffering from cold cream withdrawl."

Magnificent! Could be an annual award winner.

Now just where does either a bawdy Layabout Sailor or a rootin', tootin', gun-shootin' Texan learn to write like that?

[Chablis]

I feel your pain. Up here in northern NH, the rain and floods have doubled our skeeter populations. I keep After-Bite well stocked in my home and car, but ice does work wonders in a pinch.

[Marti]

"Purina Mosquito Chow" that's a classic! LOL

[GuyS]

And they always bite in places you *just can't reach* or scratch in polite company. You might try a product put out by AVON (of all people) called "Skin So Soft" &trade it works for the little buggers they have down in Puerto Rico it should do the trick for skitters too.

And no, I ain't dead yet, but going through some major changes right at the moment so haven't had time opportunity or puter in which to blog with.

Guy